Drawing inspirations from the J-E-T-S

By this point in January, I've usually stopped drawing inspiration from professional football. This year, however, I have more to celebrate than just my birthday.


My football loyalties have always been with the New York Jets. Many people find that unusual, and for two reasons.


1. I am a diehard Red Sox fan who generally says horrible things about the city of New York and all Yankees fans who dwell inside it, including those who also root for the Jets.

2. The Jets have a long and not so glorified history of extreme sucktitude.


But my hatred of New York is really just of the Yankees and revivals of "Grease." In truth, I grew up without geographic loyalties to any specific city, especially living in a place called "Middletown" which straddles the border between New York and Boston. You really want to go crazy? Try figuring out how I became a Utah Jazz fan.


And yes, for the majority of my life, the Jets have been awful. I chose them as a boy because my brother and father liked the Giants, and I wanted to be different. I could have chosen the Patriots, and years later been rewarded with Super Bowl after Super Bowl, but when I was a kid, the Patsies had the stupidest logo in sports. The Jets, meanwhile, were a cool shade of green, and their logo lacked a founding father with a football between his legs. My loyalty was set, despite the years of crappy play, getting my hopes up for a few games, and then having those hopes dashed with Dan Marino's fake spikes or Tom Brady's right arm.


In many ways, and yes, this is a bit of a stretch of a metaphor, the Jets have been a symbol of my own failure to sustain weight loss. A diet or New Year's Resolution starts strong, with plenty of expectations, just as the beginning of a football season. You look past the hindrances that might befall you and only look to the future. You can envision yourself wearing smaller pants, just as you can envision the Jets making a Super Bowl, but you tend to forget about the sacrifices and exercise that goes into success, just as you might discount the Patriots or Colts as being a viable threat.


And, after so many disappointments, you start to dwindle your expectations. Forget the playoffs, it would be nice just to finish above .500. Forget looking beach-fit, it'd be great to just be able to close the top button on your shirt. My hopes for the Jets have gone down every year since 1998, when the team was one quarter away from the Super Bowl before John Elway, Terrell Davis, and the rest of the Broncos put the green and white to rest. Similarly, since high school, I've put less and less on myself to eat better and exercise.


Until this year, of course. Entering the 21st week of Weight Watchers, I'm still on a roll. I didn't have a big loss this week, but once again, there was no gain. I've alternated between big and modest weeks, and though birthday cake might prove a hindrance to a huge loss at this Thursday's weigh-in (as well as surprise breakfasts at IHOP- I love my fiancee, she knows what makes me happy), I'm still feeling good. The Jets, meanwhile, are headed for their first AFC Championship game in 12 years, putting me in a state of football giddiness I haven't felt since scoring touchdowns in gym class.


So here's hoping the Jets can keep it up. Here's also hoping I can keep pace. Here's my promise: If I get to 80 pounds by the wedding, I'll do a dance unlike any touchdown celebration you've ever seen. For you marching band people, it might- just might- be the return of the long retired Bears dance. Cue the Jumbotron...

STATS on 3! Break!

Weeks until wedding: 28.
Pounds lost in Week 21: .2
Total weight lost: 50.8 lbs
percentage toward 60-pound goal: 84.66666666666666666667
average weight loss per week: 2.4 pounds
Blog followers: 39.
Last Super Bowl the Jets played in: Super Bowl III, 1969
Final score of that game: NY Jets 16, Baltimore Colts 7
Jets opponent Sunday: Colts. Symmetry, anyone?
Age I was when the Jets last won the Super Bowl: -11
Age I hope to be when they win it again: 28
Funny classified ad in today's JI: House pig up for adoption. Millie, 10 mths old, intelligent, friendly, vaccinated, used to living with kids and dogs. Non-Kosher. Vegetarians only please! Email inquiries to CharlotteDSpider@zuckermanfarm.com
Portion of that stat that was true: Everything up to the "non-Kosher" part.