In Search of Samwise

Author's note: This blog post is written in Nerdish. For interpretations , consult the extended editions of the "Lord of the Rings" film trilogy, a Tolkien reference guide, or just bug your favorite geek.


As the big goal hovers closer, I could really use a Samwise Gamgee right about now.


For the vast majority of my weight loss challenge, I've been able to put up some impressive weekly numbers. I fought through the Holidays and came out skinnier, I've posted weeks of weight loss up to 8 pounds, and I've successfully divorced myself of Little Debbie and broken up with my mistress, Betty Crocker.


But now, as the 60-pound goal is so close, the last two weeks have been met with what amounts to a halt.


Two weeks ago, I posted a 4.8 pound weight-loss. Since then, I've lost .6, despite increasing my workouts to about 90 minutes per session and doing my best to cut down on bad snacking. Of course, there was the matter of birthday cupcakes, ice cream, and other delectables that helped me celebrate my 28th year, and such things are a joy, but nonetheless, the numbers of late haven't been as sweeping.


The pragmatist in me knows it will happen and that any loss is good loss. The ridiculous expectations-having, instant results-demanding side of me (also known as an "American Dieter") wishes that I'd already written the post of having succeeded at losing 60 and moving on to a more impressive number. The realist is happy, the fanatic is not.


I am an unabashed "Lord of the Rings" fan, so I'm choosing to look at this in a different context. After all, if you look at things from a hobbit's perspective, things just make more sense.


Since my weight loss challenge began, I have been Frodo. I got through several obstacles on my way to Mt. Doom, and I've already reached Mordor. I've already been rescued from getting eaten by a giant spider, orcs aren't going to bleed me like a stuck pig, and most pitfalls are well behind me.


But I've still got to get up that darn Mountain. And, much like dear Mr. Baggins at the foot of the volcano, things are starting to move very slowly. Granted, I'm not weighed down by the burden of thousands of years of evil personified by a piece of jewelery, and there is no creepy mutated Hobbit stalking after me (I hope). Still, I feel as if I've reached a precarious position.


What I need now is the real hero of the trilogy: Samwise Gamgee. Without Sam heaving Frodo onto his shoulders and carrying him up the mountain, Frodo never would've made it. I'm not saying I need someone to place me on their shoulders and carry me the rest of the way (after all, it's hard to burn calories when someone else is doing the carrying AND all the climbing). But a push in the right direction wouldn't hurt.


Truthfully, I've had plenty of Sams during this quest. Megan, of course, is the obvious one. So is Katie, the Weight Watchers leader who is so kind to send links of this blog to fellow Weight Watchers members and whose enthusiasm is always contagious. Now, my personal trainer is helping me to work harder (it still feels weird to write "my personal trainer." Who the hell have I become?). I guess in retrospect, I need my Sam to just be a metaphorical push, maybe one really good week to put the goal at my fingertips.


So here's to making the ascent. And, once the Ring has been tossed into the fire, here's to finding more reasons to continue the quest.


As Samwise said, "I can't carry it for you, but I can show you STATS!"


Weeks until wedding: 27
Pounds lost in Week 22: .4
Total weight lost: 51.2 lbs
percentage toward 60-pound goal: 85.333333333333
average weight loss per week: 2.3 pounds
Blog followers: 40. It'd be more, but apparently one of my editors tried to join and it crashed her computer. Oops.
Typical characteristics of a hobbit: chubby, short, bushy haired, big feet, love food. In other words, me (minus the short part) before I started Weight Watchers.
Number of times I've watched the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy: I'm guessing about 12.
Number of times I've read the trilogy, plus "The Hobbit": 4
Number of hours I've spent engaged in nerdy conversations about hobbits: 21,437
Jets and Colts kickoff: 3 p.m. Sunday
Say it with me, everybody: J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets!